Dear Mom,
Being out of high school makes me feel sort of grown-up around here, but I won't lie about missing you and Dad. I haven't made a lot of friends on campus yet, even though it's almost the end of the first semester. You guys know that I've always had trouble making friends with people, and the fact that I now have so much homework and stuff isn't helping. I know you're concerned with that kind of stuff... but don't worry. I don't need anybody in my life right now. Boys just cause too much trouble, and I don't need the heart break or the rejection.
And I don't mean to worry you or anything... but I still haven't declared my major. You've always said that it's important and all, but I just don't know. I wanna make a choice, do something for myself for once. It's hard, though, Mom. It's like when I was a little girl, back before I started therapy and medication. I felt everything at once and never knew when to stop myself. It's the same now, Mom. College is just a whirl wind of so many people from so many places, and every single time I look in their eyes, I forget what I'm supposed to feel and what I'm supposed to say to people like them. I know I'm confusing you, but I'm confused, too. Why is all of this so difficult?
I swear, Mom, I love being out here and the freedom that I get, but how am I going to do this on my own? You want me to do well, be the daughter you always wanted, but how? My professors are a constant reminder that I'm going to let you down, that all of this is just going to disappear and you're just going to walk out again. I know that sounds cruel, but it's true--and it scares me. I hate thinking these things, but I'm just so terrified all the time about the fact that you're so far away and there's no one here that knows what to say to me that won't set me off. I don't want to be like this to everybody, but I can't help it. Why is everybody like this? Why can't this all just be more simple?
I'm sorry, Mom, but this must be so depressing to read. Believe me when I say that it's even more depressing to write. I promise to do better for you.
P.S. I'm still trying to stop smoking, but with all of this stuff, it's not easy. I'll quit when all of this stress from school goes down. (And please don't lecture me about that, Mom. I don't want to hear any crap about it. You always point something to me like that, and I don't need, especially now. Have some compassion, OK?)
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7 comments:
I think this is someone who is antisocial. This person fears commitment and friends.
btw i like your blog skin :D
hmmm, yours seems pretty hard to pick, but I'm guessing its Schizoid personality disorder since you have trouble making new friends and you show a little bit of detachment the way you're far away from your mom.
I think your letter is of an antisocial person. The letter shows a repeling of friends.
I think you're the dependent personality disorder. Mainly cause of your P.S. comment, but also cause you give off the fact that you can't really do things without your mom. I recommend seeing a psych doctor so they can help you move on. Good job!
I think you are an antisocial person. You don't seem to want to make new friends, and if you do, you are very detached with them.. even with your mom.
Maybe schizoid personality disorder mainly because you seem detached. Overall good letter.
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